How Technology is Ruining the Ability to Communicate

In case you haven’t noticed, very few people actually talk to each other anymore. The creation of the Internet has forever changed the course of humanity. While the Internet has opened up the world to virtually everyone, it has also shifted human communication in a new direction.

It wasn’t so long ago that people spent time talking to one another in person. This was the heritage of all humans as we evolved over 2 million years. With the invention of the telephone, it became easier to communicate as we could now talk to others over long distance. It was no longer necessary to speak directly face to face. This was amazing and humanity delighted in being able to connect like never before. As technology progressed, the phone no longer needed a wired connection and mobile phones began to spread. This gave us unprecedented mobility and freedom. Yet despite this new freedom, we were still talking to one another, hearing voices and emotions.

But the greatest change is yet to come. The creation of the Smartphone has revolutionized the ability to communicate the world over. Now, instead of holding a wimpy flip phone, you have a powerful computer in your hands that can link to anything and anyone in mere seconds 24/7. You can now search the Internet, order your favorite shoes, get directions to your long lost cousin, and read and send emails. But the revolution really begins with the creation of social media. Now, instead of talking to one another, communication is thru texting and messaging. As my kids are eager to point out “Dad, you’re so old fashioned…nobody calls or talks on the phone anymore, just text me”.

Since I’ve been writing about alcohol addiction in my first 2 blogs, I thought it was time to expand on this to the greatest addiction of all time: Digital Media. That’s right, there are more people addicted to their cell phones, iPads, tablets, computers, and digital TV’s than all other addictions combined! We have entered a new realm of addiction the likes of which the world has never seen before. Yes, Facebook has allowed millions of people to connect and stay connected like never before. But how can such a magnificent creation that has brought so many people together, so much joy, and so much excitement be bad?

As I see it, there are 2 main problems. First, people are no longer talking to each other with voices and feelings. Texting leaves out the subtle nuances of communication that are critical for full understanding. When you leave out the voice and feeling tone and just send typed words, it is ridiculously easy to misunderstand and misinterpret the message. I cannot tell you how often I see this problem in my clinical practice. Please don’t break up with your boy/girlfriend with a text message!
Secondly, and more serious, people are losing their ability to talk to one another face to face using real words and expressing their emotions. We have moved into a new state of digital detachment where most everything is typed words on a screen. It is not an accident that the incidence of depression and suicide among young and middle age people is alarming and climbing. Digital detachment has resulted in powerful feelings of alienation, loneliness, disconnection, and despair. We need to learn how to talk again.

It just so happens that I’m in the talking business. As a psychologist, most of my efforts are directed at helping my patients to better understand themselves. This includes learning how to communicate more effectively as well as how to listen better. If you or a loved one is experiencing digital detachment and feel lonely, isolated, or discouraged— give me a call so I can help you find a better way. There is nothing better than feeling a close connection to a fellow human being.